Two months ago, I ventured out on a socially unacceptable tangent downgrading the self-imposed importance of the amorous side of society.  In other words, I offered up a logical alternative to Valentine’s Day.  Unfortunately for my loyal readers, I didn’t get it all out of my system.  Yet.

I just saw a commercial that boiled my rebellious blood once more.  Some network television show that has a single girl choosing between twenty single guys wearing masks and in the end, we, the susceptible viewing audience, are led to believe that they will find true love.  Of course in reality, they will ride off into the same fifteen minutes of fame and turmoil sunset that every other reality show couple before them has.  So why, oh why, are we once again being subjected to this crap?

In this world of reality show matchmaking, Internet dating service hell, and have to be boyfriend/girlfriend with someone to be considered "normal" society, this is to be expected.  We have placed the stigma of "being single equals being lonely" upon ourselves.  This is absolutely incredible to me and hopefully to droves of other singles out there.  Let’s think this through logically.  These reality show clowns are beautiful people, some of which have a lot of money, and supposedly wonderful personalities.  So what’s wrong with them that they can’t find someone by themselves?  Why do they have to go to a television show to find their one and only?  Face the facts.  If you’re over the age of thirty and you’ve never been in one serious relationship, something is definitely wrong with you.  Those reality show people are probably psychotic inbreds waiting for an outlet. 

<author takes deep breath>  My suggestion is this:  if you decide one day you are so damn lonely that you consider answering an ad for a television reality show where all your secrets will be revealed and you will be humiliated for the rest of your life just for the shot of having a very public breakup after ten days or so, do yourself a favor.  Go to the grocery store, buy a half gallon of vanilla ice cream and some Magic Shell.  Ever notice how happy people are when they eat Magic Shell?  It may just be what this world needs to cure all ills.  That and a little tequila.

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