Many, many moons ago, Sue and I invented the Boys Are Stupid Club.  It was our way of dealing with some of the boys we have met over the years and their seemingly low intelligence level.  Let me clarify something real quick:  Sue and I thought we invented this club.  Turns out, it’s been around for many more moons than Sue and I could imagine.  In fact I received a card in the mail from Sue earlier this week that says, “We learned it all in kindergarten…boys are stupid.”  As Sue so aptly wrote inside the card, they stole our words.

Stupid boys are everywhere one looks, which is really too bad because I, for one, simply cannot bring myself to date unintelligent men.  But there are times when stupid boys show up in the oddest of places.  Tonight I watched The Little Mermaid.  No, this was not by choice.  Now this movie came out back in 1989.  I remember it very clearly because it was my sophomore year in high school and I was the only one of my friends who had not seen it in the theatres, and didn’t quite understand why the blowfish was so damned funny.  It didn’t take me long to get the joke, which was definitely sophomoric…pun intended.  Anyway, all my friends thought that Prince Eric was just the dream of all animated men.  I had one friend who actually wanted to marry him when she got older.  Me, if I had my choice of animated men (now that I’m older and wiser), I would have to say either Dimitri from Anastasia or Captain Gray Edwards from Final Fantasy.  But back in those days, Prince Eric it was.

What we didn’t know back then is that Prince Eric is the epitome of all stupid boys.  Here he’s got Ariel living in his castle, this beautiful, warm, caring gal, and yet he goes for Vanessa…the beautiful bitch who's obviously a tramp.  He goes after Vanessa solely because she’s got “the voice”.  In fact, Ariel and Vanessa look exactly alike except for hair color, but Prince Eric wants "the voice" and doesn't really care what else comes with it.  Of course he doesn’t realize that Vanessa is actually the ugly, nasty, disgusting sea-witch Ursula in disguise.  See, in Vanessa’s case, beauty really was only “skin-deep”.  Yet, she’s got “the voice”, and Prince Eric gets hypnotized by her to the point that he’s standing at the alter with her less than 24 hours after meeting her.  You can actually see that hypnotic glow in his eyes…you know, I think I might have seen that eye-glow in a few guys I know.  Huh.  Anyway, the whole thing ends with the wedding getting stopped by a bunch of animals and “the voice” gets transferred back to Ariel, and Prince Eric discovers he’s really in love with Ariel because she’s the one with “the voice”, the sea-witch explodes into little bite size pieces of octopus, and Prince Eric marries Ariel, the end.  (Sorry if I spoiled the movie for you!)

So why is Prince Eric a stupid boy?  Throughout the movie, he’s following “the voice” and not his heart.  At times during the movie the viewer thinks maybe Prince Eric has gotten his act together because you can tell he’s falling for Ariel, who is the right girl for him.  But then “the voice” comes back into play and he almost marries Vanessa because of it.  Sure he marries the right girl in the end, but if it wasn’t for Ariel getting “the voice” back, our Prince Eric would have spent the rest of his days waking up to a sea-witch.  And he would have deserved every fun-loving moment of it.

The reality of life is this:  boys may be stupid, but girls are dumb.  We're the ones that put up with the stupid boys.  They can exhibit their stupidity in worst of ways and we simply say, "Uh, okay!" and go on like nothing has ever happened.  I've done it, we've all done it.  I shudder to think how many stupid boys I've dated, and how many of them I've let be stupid all over me.  If we ever want to see a sharp decline in membership for the Boys Are Stupid Club, I think that girls in general need to wise up.  Until we do, we can't expect boys not to be stupid.

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