Okay, now something got me last night during a phone conversation, so I figured I have this strange forum to rant a little, and that’s what I’ll do.  I was talking with my friend...oh boy, now she needs a name, cause you can’t use real names of real people for fear of that whole getting sued thing...yeah, that’s what we’ll call her.  Sue.  I just know I’ll get an angry phone call when she reads this, asking why I couldn’t come up with a better name, but I’ll just have to deal with the potential psychological scarring of my friends by giving them pseudonyms they dislike at another time.

So Sue, she’s having this really messed up problem with her boyfriend.  See, they’ve been seeing each other for awhile now.  They went out on quite a few pick-you-up-and-take-you-out-date-date-date-type-things, they spend all night almost every night on the phone together, and over time have become, well, intimate with each other.  Sue knows deep down inside that she has something great going on.  After all, Sue’s not met someone like this guy for a really long time, and she has completely fallen for him.  Poor, poor Sue. 

Anyway, the other day, he told her point-blank that he doesn’t view her as a girlfriend.  And so the train comes to a sudden, screeching halt, throwing the passengers forward and knocking baggage around.  What the...?  I’ve already detailed the relationship...date-type-things, all night phone calls, intimacy...did I miss something, because up to this point, I’ve assumed him to be the boyfriend, along with everyone else Sue knows...not to mention Sue herself.

So here comes the rant.  Men just can’t seem to say what they think.  Why is that?  I mean, they can sit across the table from you and stare at you with this piercing, heart-wrenching, soul-stealing stare that leaves you naked and shivering in the wake of their reading your every thought and the only thing going through their mind is, “Damn, I have to take a piss.”  So why not just say so?  Most women I know won’t get completely ticked off and storm out the room if a guy excuses himself to use the restroom.

My thought is this, maybe we had it right in elementary school.  Maybe the whole idea of passing a note with the “Check Yes or No” was the proper thing to do.  No confusion there.  No miscommunication going on.  Sue would have had an honest answer before she so recklessly - albeit justifiably - committed her heart to someone who saw the relationship differently.  So, to all you women out there:  next time you find yourself being stripped down to the core by a man’s stare, just get out a little piece of paper.  That’s the only way to find out if he’s thinking about you...or just his bladder.

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