I was in the store the other day and noticed the Valentine's Day stands were up in their full glory.  I felt like creeping through the store with a scarecrow, tin man, and lion while chanting, "Flowers and chocolates and hearts, oh my!"  Naturally I didn't because I wanted to purchase my milk before I was carted away for negating what is supposedly the most amorous day of the year.  Next to Sweetest Day, whatever the heck that is.

I do not believe in Valentine's Day.  Cupid was proven a myth with the rest of the Greek/Roman gods, flowers only reveal the bitter truth about mortality, and I firmly adhere to my routine of eating chocolate and sugar year-round.  I don't know when I began not celebrating the day...probably somewhere around the time we stopped trading cards and candy hearts in elementary school.  So what's my problem with the holiday?  Doesn't anyone ever wonder why the love bug bites in springtime?  It's because all those single people out there have just spent a day feeling isolated and frustrated as all those in love have flaunted themselves shamelessly.  So the single people react by running out and jumping at the first guy/girl they see.  Now I know that some of you are saying, "Well her bad attitude is only because she's a poor, lonely, pathetic creature who has no one this year.  Otherwise she'd be eagerly counting the days like the rest of us lucky love-ridden folk."  That, however, is not true.  In fact one of the few things my ex-husband and I agreed on was that Valentine's Day could kiss it (pun intended).  And no, that's not what was wrong with our marraige, so don't even start.

I used to subscribe to the religion of, "There is someone for everyone and everyone will eventually have someone."  But try telling that to the fifty-year-old woman who never got married and is now realizing she's past her prime for children.  Or tell that to someone who has a void in their chest that fills with a boundless ache whenever they see the person they dared to love...only to not receive love in return.  Every person out there has at one time or another experienced a broken heart, whether they're nine or ninety.  Maybe this year when Cupid's arrow impales our butts we should ask him if that pain is really a foreshadowing of future heartache.  And while we're on the topic, what good is that arrow anyway?  It only turns us into bumbling idiots who sweat profusely with knocking knees, shaking hands and render us unable to remember our own names let alone spout out a "hello" to the person who was unfortunate enough to catch our eye.

As for putting an end to the day that singles out single people, maybe single people should have a day for themselves.  Call our newest holiday "It's Okay To Be Alone Day."  Then we can pity all those who have someone because they can't participate in our day.  That and Hallmark could make more money off basic human emotions.  But until we actually get our own holiday, I vote for the death penalty for the love bug...the filthy, vile, nasty little creature it is.

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